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The Yusus Tavoli Show (Sweet Sow)
"The Yusus Tavoli Show" is the fourth and last episode of the second series of Sweet Sow, and the eighth overall. Recap After winning a decillion dollars at a beauty pageant, Mummy Pig and her daughter Peppa visit Spilled, Krockia, and stay at the Vívíví. They have a good time until they are captured by Anwale Looges and are forced to star in the reboot of The Yusus Tavoli Show. Script (The episode starts with the scene of the Vívíví from "The Hitchhiker Who Came to Dinner," except it is longer.) Voice: Vívíví. (Mummy Pig and Peppa walk into the building, but they meet a guard who works there.) Guard: (in Krockian) Please do not bring any children, as they are banned from here. Mummy Pig: You’re kidding. Guard: Nei. Mummy Pig: I am Barney the Dinosaur in disguise and you’re Elmo. Right? Guard: Letze. (The guard morphs into the floating head of John Wayne Gacy.) Dan: Can you please be quiet. I’m trying to watch Franny's Feet. Peppa: (offscreen; in Daddy Pig's voice) Shut the fuck up. You’re a creepy pedo. Dan: WAAH! (disappears) Guard: Prepare to d- (Lightning strikes on the guard, and Marvey flies down.) Marvey: Marvey Harvey, Harvey Marvey. My dear children... Hitchhiker: I am not your child. Marvey: Son, you shall sleep. Dan: I love my feet. Marvey: Sleep. Dan: I can’t. Marvey: Ignacio... Dan: Seriously? (Dan gets frozen into ice.) Peppa: Mummy, I just found out that there’s going to be a Sweet Sow spin-off. Robert Raccoon: (offscreen) Me? Howdy: Of course. Robert Raccoon: (offscreen) Proof? (Howdy responds by having his head morphed into Anita Sarkeesian.) Anita Sarkeesian's Head: (floating away) ...or suicide. It is considered illiterate. Peppa: Who is that Anwale guy anyway? Mummy Pig: He's an extraterrestrial human being who- Voice: Sweet Sow has been banned in the Island of Soda. Mummy Pig: Fuck you voiceover guy! Stop banning everything or else! Voice Or else what? (Mummy Pig shoots lasers out of her eyes, causing the voice to fade away.) Mummy Pig: That bitch deserves it anyways. Toby: I AM NOT A FUCKING MONKEY! NOW STOP CALLING ME A MONKEY! Marvey: (talking to Toby) Ignacio, my dearest son... (For some reason, Toby can no longer speak.) Voice: Who is this? Marvey: What? Voice: Rolf Harris is Toby’s waifu. Marvey: Oh no. My dearest Ignacio has escaped the means of reality, and has become surreal. Hitchhiker: I want a major role in this episode, unlike the previous two. Marvey: (to the hitchhiker) Come to me. Hitchhiker: No thanks! Marvey: Come. Anwale Looges: Is Mummy Pig here? Mummy Pig: Of course. What do you want? Anwale Looges: Please feature on The Yusus Tavoli Show or else... Mummy Pig: (says something that sounds like either "Bullshit!" or "Bullfuck!") Anwale Looges: Alright. If you wanna get captured by me. Mummy Pig: Oh, hell naw! Peppa: You have to capture me, if you want to capture mummy. Anwale Looges: You too, Peppa. Peppa: Capture Dan Schneider instead. He deserves it. Anwale Looges: Nope. Just you and your mother. Hitchhiker: Capture me! Anwale Looges: Sure. (Dan Schneider, who is now unfrozen, appears.) Dan: Please capture me, too! Anwale Looges: Yes, Dan. That's enough people for now. Marvey: Ignacio, you shall hearsay me the name of the record player. Voice: I'm afraid I have some bad news, Marvey. (pause) He's dead. (Marvey gets on his knees.) Marvey: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Peppa: Who? Hitchhiker: He’s dead, Jim. Peppa: My name's not Jim, dumbass! Hitchhiker: Sorry. I’m extremely drunk. Mummy Pig: Who died? Marvey: Ignacio, my dearest son and helper. He was in a state of surrealism, and he ended up meeting death. Forever will he be inside of my (burps). Dan: Hey buddy, when are we gonna get captured? Anwale Looges: (in Toby's voice) Yup, but it's a little bit broken. Dan: Please do it, anywa- (Dan is frozen again.) Marvey: (talking to Anwale) Ignacio! I missed you. Anwale Looges: (in Toby's voice) Sorry I was busy. Marvey: You must freeze all of your servants, to make the capturing more appealing for them. Anwale Looges: (in Toby's voice) You are furry, right? Marvey: Words of wisdom, though freeze Peppa and her mother. Anwale Looges: (in Toby's voice) uh... no Marvey: Please give us Dan Schneider's feet. (Anwale burps, causing Toby's spirit to fly out of him.) Anwale Looges: Excuse me Marvey, but what were you talking about? Marvey: Give us Dan Schneider’s gigantic feet. Anwale Looges: How though? Marvey: Victorious. Anwale Looges: Hmm... (We see an x-ray view of Anwale's head, and his brain expands to an unusually large size.) Anwale Looges: Alright, I'll try. Marvey: Love Dan Schneider’s Feet or you shall- Anwale Looges: I don't have a foot fetish, Marvey. I don't. Marvey: Do it, or- Toby: Sorry I was busy D: Voice: Okay, I lied. He's actually alive. Toby: Dan Schneider is a fucking monkey! Marvey: Sleep, Ignacio. Toby: Is he a monkey? Answer me. Marvey: Sleep, and you shall fall into your true spirit. Toby: Am I a monkey? Marvey: Sleep. Toby: Ee-ay. (falls on the ground and starts sleeping) Marvey: There, there, my son. Voice: (offscreen, in a rhythmic manner) Bertram Winkle, Yusus Tavoli. Marvey: And tha- Anwale Looges: My friends is how to get drunk. Marvey: Not yet, dear child. Anwale Looges: Why not? Peter: (singing) My eyes popped more xanax than you know. Marvey: Dream no more, and must you sleep. Sleep is a power source. Peter: But isn't it too early- Marvey: No buts, son. Sleep. Peter: Fine. Marvey: It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends. Mummy Pig: Just go inside the damn building already. (Mummy Pig and Peppa are teleported inside the Vívíví.) Peppa: I wanna be like Jake Pig. Mummy Pig: He's a dumbass, so no. Peppa: No. Huh, huh! Mummy Pig: Keep up acting like Jake, and you're grounded. Do you understand, miss? (Peppa transforms into Jake Pig.) Jake Pig: It's all day braugh! With that Kidz Bop beat! Mummy Pig: That does it! Jake Pig: Russia is a city! (Mummy Pig talks very fast in a deep voice while decomposing.) Jake Pig: I'm the best content creator out there. (Mummy Pig morphs into Wagucorn.) Wagucorn: Fuck off! (Jake Pig inhales deeply.) Jake Pig: BACON! (Jake's head gets severed. Wagucorn morphs back into Mummy Pig.) Jake Pig: Braugh. Mummy Pig: Oh fuck, he's not dead yet. But if not, press cash. (Jake transforms back into Peppa.) Peppa: I love Jake Pig. He's my role model. Mummy Pig: Stop liking him, or else... Peppa: Stop disrespecting my opinion. Mummy Pig: Don't touch me. Peppa: Aren’t you a sex offender, though? Mummy Pig: I'll fucking kill you if you say that I'm a sex offender one more time. Bill Cosby: (offscreen) Hey, hey, hey! Mummy Pig: Nonce. Voice: Dan Schneider, Dan Schneider. Get in the van, pull it tighter. Mummy Pig: Nonce. Voice: Where will Dan's feet take him today? Nobody knows for sure. Mummy Pig: Nonce. Voice: ...sense! Dan Schneider does not have a wife. Mummy Pig: Are you asking to wind up dead? Voice: Peppa passed away from earth, my dearest Pame- (Mummy Pig shoots the voice with her eyes.) Peppa: (offscreen) Bitch. Mummy Pig: Where the Hell are you, Peppa? Peppa: In Hell. Mummy Pig: Come the Hell back, Peppa. Peppa: Hell no. Mummy Pig: THIS INSTANT OR YOU'RE GROUNDED. Peppa: Fine. Mummy Pig: And stop saying Hell. (The whole background turns into a psychedelic rainbow swirl, which causes Mummy Pig's dress to become red.) Category:Sweet Sow episodes Category:Fanon